Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Randomize
