Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Well I just put wine in my tea
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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