the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
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