Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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