what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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