Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
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