Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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