don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
