If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
