there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Operation Purity has been aborted
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
