dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
