I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
