I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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