So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
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