I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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