We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
