your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
