Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
