I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
only you would photoshop your dick
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
