I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
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