From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
