Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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