My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
