Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
