You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
