everyone is single if you try hard enough
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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