Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
