My cat gives me a boner
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Randomize
