I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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