My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Randomize
