just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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