Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
