My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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