That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
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