if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
