You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
