I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Randomize
