And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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