I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
