so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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