I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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