OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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