It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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