then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
