Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
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