i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
