PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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