Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
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