I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
