I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
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