i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
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