Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Randomize
