Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
