yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
