hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
