Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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